More Than Partners
by charmed1s-halliwells
Summary: One shot. Post Fault. What happens after Olivia says I want a new partnerS he regretts her decision, and admits how she feels to Elliot. Elliot admits how he feels. Tears are shed It's not enough. She has to go. EO.


**More than Partners**

**A/N: Short one-shot following the episode Fault. What happens after Olivia says "I want a new partner?" E/O bonding! **

_I want a new partner_

She had been going over those words over and over again as she sat alone in her darkening apartment. Those words had been extremely hard for her to say. By giving up Elliot as a partner, she was giving up the best thing in her life. The moment she had said those words to captain Cragen she regretted them, but she knew she had done the right thing. Olivia knew that she couldn't remain partners with Elliot. It would be the worst thing for both of them.

Although she didn't want a new partner, she knew that she needed one. She cared about Elliot much too much. Olivia had chosen his life over the life of a child, and she knew she would make the same choice in a heart beat. That was what scared her. And she knew that he would do the same for her. Partners were always supposed to have each other's back. However, nothing was ever supposed to come before the job. She should have known that. She was supposed to know that.

The truth was that for her, Elliot came before everything. If anything were to ever happen to him, it would tear her apart. She would do anything for them. Caring like that, wouldn't allow them to function as partners. That's why she had to do this. It would be hard, and it would be painful, but it would be right. She was doing it for him, to protect him from himself. She wasn't stupid. It was plain how he felt just by the way he looked at her.

She lightly fingered the cut on her throat. She would never forget his face as he ran to her after her throat was slashed. Elliot looked as if his world had ended in the moment she fell. It was then that she knew they couldn't be partners anymore. She didn't remember much of what he said as he held her in his arms, her wound had been painful despite it not being life threatening. What she did remember was the way he looked at her. It was the way he used to look at his wife. It was a look that told her that she was the most important thing in his world, as he was in hers.

So it was with a heavy heart that she returned to work the next day to tell the captain her decision. She had done what he had said and though about. In fact, she hadn't stopped thinking about it all night. She had replayed the situation over and over so many times in her mind that it made her sick. Each time it came to the same thing; they had chosen each other. Elliot had even admitted it when they had talked. She was one of the only things he had going for him.

Without hesitation, she knocked on the door of captain Cragen's office. A voice from inside told her to enter. She did so before any of her fellow detectives could question her. The captain sat there with his hands flat on the table, and arrested look on your face. "Have you thought about your request to change partners?" he asked her gravely. She steeled herself before answer. When she did there wasn't as much as a quaver in her voice.

"I did think about it. I'm still sure about my decision. Elliot and I care for each other, much more than partners should. This compromises my ability to do my job. I need a new partner", Olivia said quickly.

Don Cragen had to hold back a chuckle. Benson had basically admitted her love for her partner. He had known that his would happen for years. Heck, there had even been bets on it. He was pretty sure that the only people that didn't know about it were Elliot and Olivia themselves. His somber move returned when the gravity of Olivia's request hit him.

"Did you talk to Elliot about this?" he asked gently. Cragen didn't want to push the issue for fear that his two best detectives would end up miserable. She shook her head, not quite making eye contact as she did. "I suggest you do", he added.

She didn't move. He decided to make himself clear. "By suggest, I mean order." Olivia left his office at that.

Elliot was sitting at his desk, and Olivia was afraid to approach him. She remembered their last conversation all too well. That time she had nearly admitted what she had kept hidden from him and herself for nearly seven years. He had been unconcerned about dying as Gitano held a gun to his head. He hadn't thought about leaving his kids fatherless. She felt guilty to admit that she wished he had thought about her.

_What about me?_

She had asked him that, quite quietly. It was not as if she meant to say it out loud. She didn't know what she expected him to say, but something would have been good. She knew she had to leave, but she just couldn't leave things like that. Elliot looked up at her expectantly as she approached him. "Elliot, we need to talk about something." He pulled out a chair so she could sit. "I'd prefer to stand", she said softly.

There was a reason that she didn't want to sit. Sitting brought her too close to him. If she was going to finally talk to him, she wanted a little distance. "So what do you want to talk about?" he asked. She could sense the trepidation in his voice.

She decided to sit after all. This was much too difficult to do standing up. It was very difficult to say this, much more difficult than she had previously thought. It was easiest just to be blunt. " I've asked for a new partner", she said. He was silent for a moment.

He studied her face. She thought he was going to yell or something. Actually, she would have liked it if he did. He simply said, "Well…if you're sure." He shrugged his shoulders, in a fashion giving his permission. She looked at him intently, unsure of what to say next. She didn't want him to let her go like this.

"I'm not sure", she said softly. He put his large warm hands on top of hers. The intimacy of this small gesture sent shivers up her spine. Only Elliot could make that happen. That just reinforced the fact that she had to leave. He looked at her, unsure of what to say.

Finally, he said, "Why?" Was it her imagination, or did he sound betrayed as he said that. It didn't really matter. She wasn't going to be his partner anymore, and there was nothing he could do about that. Since she was going to leave him after all this time, she did owe him the truth.

"I knew…since Gitani held that gun to your head…that we couldn't be partners anymore. That little girl's life was in danger, but all I could think about was what would happen in you died. If you died…it would have destroyed me Elliot. You're my best friend in the whole world. Yesterday you said that this job and I are the only thing you have left. You and this job are the only thing I've ever had."

_You and this job are all I have left. _

She stopped, angry that she hadn't received a reaction. He only stared at her, lost in thought. She noticed that she was yelling. There were other people around, and she didn't want them to hear her. "Damn it Elliot", she whispered. The tears that she had been so desperately trying to fight back since the day before fell freely now. She whispered, "I love you."

"I…I never knew", he mumbled. His eyes were slightly misty, but Olivia knew that he avoided crying at all costs. Despite what she knew about him, she didn't believe that he hadn't known. He looked down at his desk, utterly silent. She waited him in vain for him to say something.

"Please", she whispered. She was still careful to keep her voice down. Olivia was practically pleading with him now. "Please just tell me how you feel. I need to know before I leave." She looked at him expectantly. He placed his hands in hers. He opened his mouth and then quickly closed it.

He hung his head and whispered, "I'm sorry. I can't."

She didn't need to see or hear anymore. Olivia got up and pushed the chair into his desk. Without a word, she turned on her heal and left the precinct. She didn't care that she technically needed to be at work. All she wanted was to get as far away from Elliot as she possibly could. It was rare that she told anyone that she loved them. It made her feel vulnerable and exposed, something she didn't like.

He caught up with her just before she had gotten out the front door. He tapped her on the shoulder as she reached out to push the door open. She spun around to face him, the anger flashing in her dark brown eyes. He said nothing for a moment.

"What is it?" she asked angrily. He didn't answer her. He merely stared at her, his piercing blue eyes looking for once lost. "What is it?" she repeated, the anger in her voice rising.

"I…" he began. He stopped and swallowed hard. "I love you too."

He looked at her again, as if enraptured with what he was seeing. "Are we…are we still partners?" he asked uncertainly. He blushed slightly, embarrassed a bit by his question.

"We're much more than partners", Olivia said with a smile. Olivia raised her hands and ran her fingers through Elliot's hair. They moved their faces closer together until they were almost touching. In a second that contained eternity, they stared at each other. Then their lips met.

It was the most beautiful kiss either of them had ever experienced. In the moment or so that their kiss lasted, everything was for once right with the world. They broke apart rather reluctantly. They had never, in a million years, planned to kiss as they had done. However, it seemed so right. They held hands, feeling at the moment perfect with each other.

She didn't want to leave anymore, she wanted never to leave. However, the fact that they had each admitted they love each other changed very little. She still couldn't be his partner anymore. Without notice, she pulled his hand from his. She turned and quickly walked away, trying not to look back. If she looked back she could never go forward.

"Olivia?" asked Elliot. She hated how hurt and betrayed he sounded. Never did she want to hurt him. She looked back for a moment, surprised to se that he was crying. Rarely had she seen him cry before. It broke her heart to see him like that.

She neared the door. It was tearing her apart to leave him, but she knew she had to. It would be worse for both of them if she didn't. She pushed open the door, and with a final look at Elliot, she said, "I'll be back, I promise." She did mean that. She just had to be gone right now.

She exited the building, leaving a broken Elliot in her wake. Tears flowed freely down her own cheeks. Even now, when she was sure she was doing the right thing, it didn't feel any better. When she walked out the door into the bitter morning air, she whispered, "I'm sorry…"


End file.
